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WELCOME TO NIGERIA 🇳🇬🇳🇬🇳🇬
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Where:
1. Every TOOTHPASTE is called MACLEAN,
2. Every NOODLES is called INDOMIE,
3. Every FINE GOOD LOOKING GENTLEMAN is called a YAHOO BOY 😂😂
4. Every DETERGENT is called OMO
5. Every INSECTICIDE is called SHELLTOX
6. Every SAUSAGE ROLL is called GALA
7. All SEASONING are Called MAGGI
8. We point at an empty chair and ask “Who’s sitting there ”We are like that”.
9. When NEPA (PHCN) takes light, we go out and check if it’s the whole street.
10. Where we use Questions to Answer Questions e.g LIGHT DEY??? LIGHT DEY😜🤪
11.We use a bar of soap till it looks like a Sim card.
12. 8.We buy something, skip the manual & ask neighbors on how it’s used.
13. We withdraw money from an ATM then count it before going. We have trust issues 🤪😜🤪Trully, We are are Fearfully and wonderfully made.
Which one are you a victim of???
pls let’s keep the fun going… Add Yours
#OneLove🇳🇬🇳🇬I JUST LOVE NAIJA SCHOOL..
TO ALL NIGERIAN STUDENTS*u ask your friends..how far
with reading? They say they
haven’t started…only to get to
the LIBRARY and find out they
have a permanent seat.* Lecturers will be telling you “buying my handout is not compulsory” but class Rep…let me have the list of those that have bought😁😁
* You graduate with 3.50 and you will be telling yourself. If it was to be NSUK… I would have been a 4.50 graduate by now.😎😎
* If you think true love is the only thing that is hard to find…try
looking for your HOD when you need his signature on a form.*Anything you want to do, you must be on queue even to enter the school
*You get to class as early as 6.30am only to see that all seats have been occupied by bags & books abi dem dey leave am for sch go back house ni?.😂
*u have already prepared food but to eat na wahala because U re already late for lectures.😫
* Lecturer: Only 10 students in
class? Oya tear a sheet of paper for test (Shot gun)….turns to the
board to write. Before he turns
back😳——-class don full. Lol*come night class during exam u go see different levels of reading. scaning, skimming, jaking and lots more.
*During exams u will know those who are naturally beautiful because no time for makeup at all.🥳🥳 Everyone Don become born- again by force. 😂😂
* It’s always funny when exam
invigilator says SUBMIT!! And many students suddenly develop that super human ability; answering 3hrs question in 50seconds. 🤪😜Aluta Continua.. Victoria Aserta
[quote quote=99684]I JUST LOVE NAIJA SCHOOL..
TO ALL NIGERIAN STUDENTS*u ask your friends..how far
with reading? They say they
haven’t started…only to get to
the LIBRARY and find out they
have a permanent seat.* Lecturers will be telling you “buying my handout is not compulsory” but class Rep…let me have the list of those that have bought
* You graduate with 3.50 and you will be telling yourself. If it was to be NSUK… I would have been a 4.50 graduate by now.
* If you think true love is the only thing that is hard to find…try
looking for your HOD when you need his signature on a form.*Anything you want to do, you must be on queue even to enter the school
*You get to class as early as 6.30am only to see that all seats have been occupied by bags & books abi dem dey leave am for sch go back house ni?.
*u have already prepared food but to eat na wahala because U re already late for lectures.
* Lecturer: Only 10 students in
class? Oya tear a sheet of paper for test (Shot gun)….turns to the
board to write. Before he turns
back——-class don full. Lol*come night class during exam u go see different levels of reading. scaning, skimming, jaking and lots more.
*During exams u will know those who are naturally beautiful because no time for makeup at all.
Everyone Don become born- again by force. * It’s always funny when exam
invigilator says SUBMIT!! And many students suddenly develop that super human ability; answering 3hrs question in 50seconds.Aluta Continua.. Victoria Aserta[/quote] so funny.
CHILDREN NOWADAYS DON’T EVEN KNOW THAT IN OUR DAYS YOU COULD BE BEATEN FOR ANY OF THE FOLLOWING REASONS:
1. Crying too long after being beaten
2. Not crying after being beaten
3. Crying without being beaten
4. Standing where elders are sitting
5. Sitting while elders are standing
6. Walking around aimlessly where elders are seated
7. Eating food prepared for visitors
8. Refusing to eat
9. Coming back home after sunset
10. Eating at the neighbour’s home
11. Generally being too moody
12. Generally being too excited
13. Losing a fight with older age mate
14. Winning a fight with your age mate
15. Eating too slowly
16. Eating too quickly
17. Eating too much
18. Not finishing your food
19. Finishing your food and scraping your plate
20. Eating and talking
21. Sleeping while the elders in the house have already woken up
22. Looking at the visitors while they are eating
23. Stumbling and falling when walking
24. Looking at an elder eye ball to eye ball
25. When an elder is talking to you and you blink
26. When an elder is talking to you and you stare and not blink
27. When you look at an elder through the corner of your eye
28. When your mates are playing street football and you join them
29. When your mates are playing and you don’t join them
30. When you don’t wash your dish after eating
31. When you wash your dish improperly
32. When you almost break your dish
33. When you break your dish
34. When you bite your nails.
34.. When you don’t bath�.
35. When you bath�too quickly
36. When you take too long to bath�.
37. When you’re beaten in school for misbehaving
38. When a car almost knocks you down
39. When a car knocks you down and you don’t die!
40. For not answering when spoken to
41. For answering back when spoken to.
42 Beaten for going to Church or Mosque late.
43 Beaten for borrowing shoe/wears from friends.Some of these reasons for beating a child may appear far-fetched nowadays but they sure did happen and they were the norm that shaped the adults of this days.
Kudos to African parents. We, the generation you almost killed with beating say ….
THANK YOU
������And if you were beaten because of any 3 of the above, please gather here for” *Survival & Thanksgiving* ��
Elders please arise and help this generation, they need us to guide them, start from your own end fast, things are gradually degenerating.
*Our culture must not die!!*https://ng.opera.news/ng/en/health/amp/89072cdcf620e79e5efd2c2756e2c4be
Let’s play a game… I will Write some popular Nigerian Pidgin Proverbs, pick any of the Proverbs and translate in ENGLISH LANGUAGE. Eg
1. PIDGIN – Na person wey never see problem dey use English dey pray.
English… Only a person without enough problem prays in English.
……let’s go2. PIDGIN – Book wey no gree enter head go enter exam hall
3. PIDGIN – Goat wey get mind follow lion go catch fish, make e know say weda dem catch fish or not, Lion food don set oh.
4. PIDGIN – Who naked no dey chuck hand for pocket…!
5. PIDGIN – Wetin concern dog with family planning?..
6. PIDGIN – Na determination dey make Okada overtake trailer for road.
7. PIDGIN – This one good, this one good na em mad man take dey gather plenty load.
8.PIDGIN – Pikin wey go strong go strong…. No be say until dem name am Samson.
9. PIDGIN – Na over confidence make February no complete.
10. PIDGIN – Hand wey stay long for pocket, know say nothing dey that pocket.
11. PIDGIN – No matter how lizard do press-up reach, e no fit get muscle pass crocodile.
12. PIDGIN – E de clear pimple, e de clear pimple na so bleaching take start.
13. PIDGIN – Feel at home, feel at home na im dey make visitor spoil remote control.
14. PIDGIN – It’s a small world!! No mean say you fit trek from Naija go London.
15. PIDGIN – Make I chop this guy money, Make I Chop this guy money. Na so ashawo take start oh.
16. PIDGIN – You no need cutlery to chop slap.
17. PIDGIN – I go do am later na e make fowl no fly like other birds.
18. PIDGIN – No food for lazy man no be for person wey em mama get restaurant.
19. PIDGIN – Who dey hold landlord rentage no dey fry stew wey curry dey.
20. PIDGIN – I am covered by the blood of JESUS, E no mean say make u no lock door sleep oooh
21. PIDGIN – Pastor wey dey pray for mad person no dey close eye.
22. PIDGIN – i wan marry, I need pikin, I need money, na e make Church overflow dey full.
23. PIDGIN – I know too much, i know too much na e make SAN no fit recite National Anthem.
24. PIDGIN – The tin wey make egg strong for pot na em make yam also soft for pot
25. PIDGIN – Pikin way Say e mama no sleep, he self no go sleep.
26. PIDGIN – Sun too hot e nor mean say fowl go Lay boiled egg.
27. PIDGIN – Monkey smart monkey smart, nah because tree near tree
28. PIDGIN – Cockroach wey say him sabi acrobatic dance where cocks are doing general meeting don waka kurukere waka
29. PIDGIN – Say Lion dey sick, no mean say him with cat na mate
30. PIDGIN – I never ready, i no need love, na money I want, na so sugar daddy take start
Over to you Professors
——-class don full. Lol
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